Thanks, babe. She’ll never taste the arsenic

Cards like this are on sale in my ETSY shop!

Hello friends! I hope you had an enjoyable holiday week, and that you had the good sense to stay out of The Pit of Despair Wal-mart on Black Friday. I haven’t watched any news shows since Thursday, just to make sure I don’t see stories about it. Gives me the creeps. If I am ever served with capital punishment, let it be from a stampede of people greedy pepper-spray-toting maniacs so I can serve as a reminder to others.

Also from my ETSY shop

I am happy to say I’ve stayed at home in an apron, in the kitchen like a Good Little Wifey feminist. I’m happy to have a follow-up to my last post about pie, and thanks to Good Moosey Daddy this one’s a total winner. I now have a victorious recipe for pie crust.

1 cup shortening
1 tsp salt
2 cups flour
1 TBL vinegar
1/2 cup milk
cut the shortening into dry ingredients
add liquid all at once
Don’t mix it too much like you always do, Katie.*

To my glee this yielded a perfectly flaky crisp crust that could not have been more complimentary to the cherry filling. It looked and smelled so nice (look at my lattice!) that Shane had a piece– and he’s never cared for fruit pie, especially cherry. But he unequivocally crowned this The Best Pie Shane Has Ever Eaten, with credit largely to the sugarless crust. Thanks Dad!

So for people like myself who hate crowds but love sales and pie, there is Cyber Monday. You don’t HAVE to go to the circus store in order to get good deals. You can eat pie with one hand and click “Add To Cart” with the other! It’s brilliance!

I’ve got the fanciest coffee cozies in my Etsy shop, like this awesome product made from a trifecta of my favorite things: pirates, hot coffee, and vintage buttons.

And if you want to be the classiest and hippest of all, I have these sets of beautiful coffee sleeves that come with darling invitation cards. A simple gift and gesture that is sure to be remembered and appreciated by your coffee and tea loving friends.

I see no reason to keep Cyber Monday to one day (although it’s a good idea to do it on everyone’s least favorite day. Starting now through this week I’m offering free shipping on nearly everything in my shop. Blog readers, I try to show my affection for you as best I can. This time, here’s my present. If you make a purchase in my shop, please send a message to me saying roughly this: Hey blogger lady, I need a card for [insert holiday or occasion] because… and I’ll make you a very special card. More special the more funny you make it.

Picture-heavy post this week, I hope you like it. Cheers, until next time.

*this is the sort of note I leave myself in recipe cards… I need reminders.

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